A few weeks ago, I read a post on LinkedIn that got me riled up because it 100% resonated.
The gist of that post was: as you’re coming back to office (presumably from time “off”), be mindful of people’s varied experiences. That is, not everyone has been having a grand ol’ vacation, or awesome fun-filled time.
“Time off” isn’t always time off
For many of us, vacation time is used to care for others. That could include caring for young children, elderly parents, family members and friends who are experiencing significant challenges, etc. It’s meaningful work (sure), and it is frequently hard and emotionally demanding.
We come back to work depleted.
Because we’re so depleted, our easy answer to a cheerful and enthusiastic “Hi! How was your holiday?!” is “Good”. Simply because the thought of explaining or “burdening” someone with the truth is …just.too.much.
In my case, I’ve used nearly all my vacation days for the past 2 years to travel back to Montreal to care for my mom who is in the early stages of dementia. Early stages according to doctors, but that label doesn’t remotely capture the changes I’ve been witnessing, the adaptations we’ve made, and all the supports we’ve put in place. When I say “we”, that generally means “me” because I’m an only child who has no previous experience with this condition.
Another personal example of the “How was your vacation?” question (invoke cheerful inquiry) has nothing to do with caretaking, and more with having a life-situation that may not be conducive to fun time off. In my case, I used to dread the December holidays (aka “Christmas break”). They were lonely, quiet, and almost devoid of family closeness. My heart ached when people described their joyful, large, extensive family gatherings (and, yes, I am fully aware that many family gatherings are not that).
Check your assumptions
Bottom line: as you come back to work, be mindful and sensitive to the fact that people will have had highly varied experiences of time “off” (if they took any). This is a good time to check our assumptions about how people spend time away from work.
