I flew back to Vancouver last weekend through Montreal’s new airport, which opened only a few weeks ago.
As I was going through security, I was struck by the friendliness and enthusiasm of the staff. They greeted passengers warmly, wished us a good trip with sincerity, and seemed genuinely interested in helping. None of them appeared bored, jaded, or simply going through the motions.
They had the kind of enthusiasm many of us have when we begin a new job.
Which got me thinking about how that energy often fades.
Before leaving
My own story, in a nutshell, goes something like this.
For about fourteen years, I worked with steady enthusiasm as an educational developer at a teaching and learning centre at the University of British Columbia. Then, things started to shift: I no longer felt I was making the kind of impact I wanted to make, and the work gradually became less meaningful. I started to feel dissatisfied.
Instead of leaving, I embarked on what turned into a seven-year mission to rekindle purpose, meaning, and joy in my work.
Really, I was trying to answer one question:
What could I change without changing jobs?
Seven years might seem like a long time to keep asking that question. In my defense (I’m not sure why I feel like I need to defend that decision), I think I took that route because, decades before, I had left my profession as a dietitian rather impulsively after experiencing a year or so of dissatisfaction. I was in my mid 20s and later regretted that decision because I felt I hadn’t explored enough possibilities before walking away.
This time around, with the educational developer role, I wanted to know I had done what I reasonably could.
What I tried
I tried many things, but I’m only going to report back on a few here.
Accepting (vs forcing gratitude)
There were a lot—I mean a LOT—of good things about my educational developer role. I worked with intelligent, competent, engaged colleagues and faculty members; I had autonomy; I enjoyed variety.
Yet, I felt dissatisfied despite all of that. And frequently thought ‘What’s wrong with me for not being content?’
However, once I stopped trying to convince myself that I should be happy, I became much clearer about what I actually needed.
Sense of purpose
Feeling a sense of purpose, making a positive difference, and experiencing a sense of meaning are all important and interconnected pieces for me.
Knowing that this was a missing piece (or not where I wanted it to be), I redesigned my work wherever I could.
For example, because I enjoy solving real, practical problems, I developed new workshops and resources to support faculty members preparing teaching dossiers for tenure and promotion. I also took on a leadership role to redesign a program for new faculty.
In addition, I sought out work and people that gave me energy. Positive collaborations have always been one of the biggest contributors to my wellbeing at work. I enjoy strengthening existing relationships and building ideas together. While I’m very self-directed, I’ve learned that too much time working alone eventually drains me.
Direct communication
I have high expectations of myself so when, despite all my trials, I still felt un-enthused and “not me” about my work, I started to address the issue directly with my senior manager and director. This was a relief, but also challenging because I like to think of myself as the kind of person who is resourceful enough to figure things out.
However, I don’t like pretending. So, speaking openly about what was going on allowed me to be true to myself and for collaborating, where possible, on addressing the challenge.
The outcome
Fast forward seven years and I’ve decided to leave the role.
Do I regret it took me so long to decide? Not really, because my efforts and attempts have assured me that I explored the possibilities. In this situation, I did not hastily make a decision to escape dissatisfaction.
Is that the right route for everyone?
Definitely not. In some cases, finding a new job pronto is the way to go.
For me, it was experimenting with the work that was already in front of me.
