Is perfectionism all bad?
Spoiler alert: No!
But, you’d think so, from the way it’s usually depicted online, in blog posts, and in most book titles on the topic.
The dominant message we get about perfectionism in the above is that it’s something to overcome, to get rid of, to stop. We read that it’s destructive and bad for our mental health; true, this is often the case.
However, there are some upsides to perfectionism and that’s what I’d like to outline here.
Maladaptive and adaptive and perfectionism
Not without controversy, perfectionism has been split into two categories: maladaptive and adaptive. (There are also other ways to categorize perfectionism and you can read about one of these in a previous blog post of mine.)
Maladaptive perfectionism
“When you consciously or unconsciously harness the power of perfectionism to limit you and hurt you, that’s maladaptive perfectionism,” (p.33) writes Katherine Morgan Schafler in her excellent book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: a path to peace and power.
Maladaptive perfectionism involves setting rigid or unrealistically high standards, struggling to enjoy personal achievements, and feeling uncertain or anxious about one’s abilities (Enns, Cox & Clara, 2002).
Ways that maladaptive perfectionism shows up
- excessive preoccupation and rumination about past mistakes
- doubts about achieving goals
- fear of failure
- fear of letting others down
Examples of maladaptive perfectionism
Example 1: You give a presentation and it goes ok, or not great, and then you rehash the situation endlessly in your mind while simultaneously putting yourself down (“what’s wrong with me, I can’t even give a decent presentation”, “I’m so incompetent” etc).
Example 2: You have a report to write and you procrastinate until the very last evening, even though you promised yourself you wouldn’t do that this time. You spend the entire evening cranking out the report and manage to hand it in (but feel embarrassed that it’s not your best work). You spend the next few days being intensely pissed off and irritable with yourself.
Adaptive perfectionism
Adaptive perfectionism means setting high personal standards and ambitious goals, working toward achievement, and finding satisfaction in one’s performance along the way (Enns, Cox & Clara, 2002).
Writes Morgan-Schafler (2023): “When you consciously or unconsciously harness the power of perfectionism to help you and heal you, that’s adaptive perfectionism” (p.33).
Ways that adaptive perfectionism shows up
- ability to set challenging yet achievable goals
- maintain high standards without excessive self-criticism
- take feedback as an opportunity to improve
- practice self-compassion
- celebrate progress, not just final outcomes (Stoeber & Otto, 2006)
Examples of adaptive perfectionism
Example 1: You set a goal for publishing your research and seek feedback on a draft. The feedback is extensive (and helpful). You recognize that making the revisions will improve your work and incorporate the changes that make sense. You don’t fall into a pit of despair. Instead, you give yourself kudos for the progress you’re making.
Example 2: You’re learning a new software program and it’s a bit of a struggle. When you hit a challenge, you stay patient with yourself. You ask questions, adjust your your approach and focus on gradually improving your skills. You might not love being a beginner, but you feel no shame in being one.
References
Enns, M. W., Cox, B. J., & Clara, I. (2002). Adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism: Developmental origins and association with depression proneness. Personality and individual differences, 33(6), 921-935.
Schafler, K. M. (2023). The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. Penguin.
Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295-319. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr1004_2