Here’s a worksheet for perfectionists who want to stop beating themselves down when they don’t live up to their own high standards…
Ok, just between you and me, how far back do you have to go to recall an event when you perceive you failed or somehow let yourself down. I only have to go back a few weeks. What was your reaction? Did you obsess over the situation? Ruminate? Replay the scenario over in your head? Seek reassurance from a bunch of people? Maybe you even felt sick or teary (or both). My go-to is to mini-obsess for a while (anywhere from a few hours to 3 days, usually) before I can move to a more generative space and use the approach outlined in the worksheet.
If you reacted in any of the ways I noted above, the simple steps in this download will help you. Skip to the end or read on if you want a bit more information.
But if I don’t self-criticize, how will I stay motivated?
A lot of people think they can motivate themselves with negativity. Somehow, they believe that enough self-abuse will lead to Perfect [Insert your Name].
Some even worry that if they don’t self-criticize, they’ll turn into a lazy, apathetic person who eats bonbons on the couch all day.
Though people think that being hard on themselves will be motivating, the opposite is true.
Self-reflection vs Self-criticismm
The worksheet below prompts you to self-reflect instead of self-criticize (not sure, how to distinguish between the two? check out this helpful post).
Self-reflection puts the emphasis on learning–and who doesn’t like to learn?!
The point is to get you out of a stuck-I-suck state and into learning mode.
Worksheet for perfectionists
If you recently tried something that didn’t go as well as planned and you are spiraling in self-criticism, this resource will help you direct your self-criticism towards something more productive: a process of evaluation that is focussed on learning. By reflecting on “What worked?”, “What didn’t work?” and “What would I do differently next time?”, you give yourself a chance to pause and grow your self-awareness.
Download the instructions and worksheet for What worked? What didn’t work? What would I do differently next time? here: